In my younger years my outlook on life had grown very dark and grim. I was in an abusive relationship, along with that came verbal degradation that I chose to claim as my Identity, and on top of all that I kept switching addictions from one substance to another. My weight escalated to over 400 pounds and I became a recluse.
The tapes in my mind kept playing the same track. “You are worthless. You are Hopeless. The world would be a better place without you.” I saw no sunshine in my days only darkness, the curtains were never opened to let the sunshine in.
I stayed in an abusive relationship because I was convinced by both my abuser and my own sickness that no one else would have me. His violence increased to the point he began brandishing guns on me, and beat me so severely that I suffered brain damage and loss of sight. I was hopeless.
My Illness told me take my own life before this man did. Intoxicated, I attempted to sever my wrist, but was taken to the hospital and my life spared.
I have been on an Odyssey of Recovery since then, and it hasn’t been easy. I no longer weigh over 400 pounds, and I am no longer beaten or degraded. I no longer feel hopeless or helpless. My curtains are sheer, the sunlight shines through, BUT I had to see I had a Problem. Others saw I had a Problem and got me help.
There was once a terrible stigma attached to having Mental Illness, and perhaps there still is. For me the stigma should be placed on those who poke fun and belittle those who are trying to get better, and yes we can get better. and come back stronger than before.
If you or someone you know needs help please encourage them to seek help. Today’s Suicidal Ideation could be Tomorrow’s Funeral .
Call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273- TALK
Goddess Lisa's Monastary 
Reblogged this on Mistress Rosie's School of Discipline.